


In which Dean most definitely does not write fanfictions

by dragoneyes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:52:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragoneyes/pseuds/dragoneyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...except for when he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which Dean most definitely does not write fanfictions

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this Tumblr post](http://dragoneyes.tumblr.com/post/129634449915/ok-but-this-eerily-sounds-like-dean-is-the).
> 
> This is all [a certain someone](http://hakka84.tumblr.com/)'s fault. I just told her "I might write this?" and then she _prompted_ me and _tempted_ me, and now I wrote this in like 3-hours top? It's kind of a record for me.

Dean didn't mean to fall into this mess.

It was by pure accident that he first stumbled upon the thing that pushed him down this unending spiral of madness, and if anyone asked, he would say he had been forced all the way through it.

Dean had a little problem with restrain, you see, and when something piqued his curiosity it would poke and poke, and poke at the back of his mind until he finally decided to appease it – according to different sources, most notably his brother, it was the reason why he always ended up with more scratches, claw-marks, and bites than Sam ever did.

It had been a slow afternoon the day following a successful hunt which had been uncharacteristically easy and unproblematic to solve. Sammy had just gone out to meet with that cute brunette witness that gave him the once over all the way through their "official FBI questioning", and he had left his older brother to amuse himself through his own devices.

Again, if asked, Dean would swear left and right that it had been a spur-of-the-moment decision when he googled that – frankly still nightmare-inducing and terribly-written – book series that Chuck used as a conduit for his prophecies. He just remembered how Charlie mentioned that some of the guy's unpublished works had leaked into the web, and he wanted to make sure that Sam and him had really gone off God's script for good.

It really wasn't his fault if he forgot for an instant what "fanfiction" was and clicked on that one link.

It also really wasn't his fault if he ended up reading the whole thing through.

What was his fault was his inability to restrain himself from scrolling all the way down to the comment section and add one of his own – he had issues with how his character was portrayed, sue him! He had all the rights to be annoyed!

The whole thing would have died down on its own – he would have gone back to his life, forgot completely about that site, and never went on a hunt for more information about any of Chuck's horrible literature _ever again_ – except that when he refreshed the page, he found another little box nested under his own.

The author answered.

The author answered and they didn't sound happy _at all_!

They claimed he had no idea what he was talking about, and that he sounded like he was "a newcomer in the fandom" and that he should "check this and that meta" because "Dean really hasn't been overcompensating that much since season 2" and "her fic was obviously set in season 8, so it didn't count".

Dean had no idea what they – she, apparently – was talking about, and he absolutely refused to follow the link she gave him to whatever a "meta" was, but he was considerably sure that, when it came to himself, he was pretty much the authority around!

Now, perhaps Dean could be a bit one-track-minded at times – he could admit that! He was an adult! He could do that! – but he was certain that, if he ever told this story to anyone, they would agree with him that the following discussion about the _complete absence_ of this supposed "repressed feelings" that the author claimed he "totally had" was a perfectly valid motive for him to pass the rest of the afternoon glued to Sam's laptop.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, at some point between one bout and the other, the author – AngelOfFriday, her handle said – suggested he made himself an account so that they could continue in private instead of cluttering her comments, and that he now had three new tabs open to an equal number of fanfictions she "recommended for someone new to the family".

  
\------------------  
From: AngelOfFriday  
To: Impala67  
Subject: Re: Re: Hiiiiiii!

Hey, let me know when you're done with those fics I sent you, I got a whole bunch of other ones to share!  
Also OTP? I'm a multi-shipper so it might help narrowing it down. When I say "a bunch" I really mean "a whole truckload" here! :))  
\------------------

  
Dean had no idea what an OTP was, but he kind of remember what shipping meant from that awful _awful_ time many many years ago when the whole "as in Sam slash Dean, together" thing happened – and _oh god no he didn't want to think about it ever again no, no, no, and no!_ – and the whole "Destiel" and "subtext" thing that went on with Marie and her musical.

  
\------------------  
From: Impala67  
To: AngelOfFriday  
Subject: NO

No OTP! Not here, not now, not ever! I don't read that stuff!  
\------------------

\------------------  
From: AngelOfFriday  
To: Impala67  
Subject: :(

Oh, come on! You're killing me here! There is nothing wrong with shipping! And there are so many good fics with great plots and stuff that have pairs, you should totally give them a chance!  
\------------------

\------------------  
From: Impala67  
To: AngelOfFriday  
Subject: Re: :(

No.  
\------------------

\------------------  
From: AngelOfFriday  
To: Impala67  
Subject: Re: Re: :(

Come on, I promise I'll be gentle and keep it PG ;)  
\------------------

  
The thing was: in spite of all his protests Dean still had a little problem with restrain, especially when it came down to his curiosity. It also wasn't his fault that Sam had just sent him a message letting him know that he wasn't going to come back to their motel room that night, and Dean was now prospected with a slow evening that would probably end up with him bored out of his mind.

  
\------------------  
From: Impala67  
To: AngelOfFriday  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: :(

Fine, but I don't promise I'll actually read them.  
And _do not_ send me Sam/Dean or Dean/Sam or whatever. Nothing between the brothers.  
\------------------

\------------------  
From: AngelOfFriday  
To: Impala67  
Subject: :D !!!!

Got it, no Winchest. You won't regret it, my young padawan!  
\------------------

  
The list of links that followed was...well, kind of intimidatingly long, but she was true to her words: they were all – according to the rating on top of each of them – family appropriate, and, when he warily tried to read the first one, he found that they were also unexpectedly well-written.

(He was also grateful that, due to the aforementioned low rating, it far easier than anticipated to ignore the whole "shipping" and "pairing" and "OTP" things.)

The issue left was this: Dean not only had a problem with restrain. Dean also had _opinions_ about a lot of these characterizations he saw around. And his opinions – for some unfathomable reason – seemed not to be shared by many of these authors.

His father was not that much of a dick – although he could now admit that John could have handled the whole situation far better than he did.

His brother was not that bitchy – except for a few selected instances in which he kind of was.

And lastly – but not least, because it really bugged him in a weird sort of personal way – Cas was not a clueless little thing – unless it somehow ended up with Dean embarrassed out of his mind.

At first he tried to be polite about it because these people, after all, had only a bunch of books of doubtful quality to use as reference, but when he saw that every single one of them refused to see he was obviously the authority here on how the people he knew would react to certain situations, he was left with no other choice.

It was obviously up to him to change this trend with his own two hands.

  
******

  
Sam didn't have much experience going back to his and Dean's motel room in the early hours of the morning – generally it was his brother the one most likely to have one-night stands while they during or after a hunt – but it usually involved him trying to sneak back into his bed, Dean waking up due to the inevitable noises, and then an unending onslaughts of extremely embarrassing and private questions about how his night went.

He was not used to finding his brother still huddled up at the table with Sam's laptop in front of him, and so focused on typing at a speed that was far above his usual clumsy attempts, that he didn't seem to notice he wasn't alone in the room anymore.

"Dude, have you been there the whole time I was out?"

In a way it was interesting to see that the surprise-induced-jumps-out-of-one's-chair in comedies and cartoons were not, in fact, exaggerated, but he would have really enjoyed it more if his brother had avoided slamming the cover of his laptop down so forcefully: he needed that laptop, it was the only one he owned!

"H-hey, Sammy! You already back? Weren't you supposed to hook up with that Sandy chick?"

"It's Sally, and I don't know if you noticed but it's already morning," Sam replied, waving his hand at the pale light already filtering through the window. He watched as Dean's eyes widened in alarm and a low "aw, shit!" left his mouth when he confirmed firsthand that he had indeed passed the whole night at his brother's computer.

"You know what?" the older man said when he turned his head back, his voice was kind of strained, his eyes wide with the kind of sleep-deprived hysterics that only came with 24 hours of continued wakefulness, "I need coffee! And food! I'm gonna get coffee and food. You wait here."

Sam watched as his brother stumbled his way towards the room's entrance, only to change his mind at the last minute, go back to snatching the laptop from the table, and finally hurry back through the door.

"I'mgonnatakethiswithme," was all that he managed to hear before Dean was gone.

  
******

  
"Dean, what the hell is going on?" Sam asked while he took a sit at the diner's table next to him.

He had tried to wait for his brother to calm down and come back to their room on his own, but when two hours passed and Dean was still no-where to be seen, he decided to track the other's GPS signal down with his phone.

"I'm just..." the older man mumbled around a bite of pie while he let the fork rest into his mouth. He wouldn't look Sam in the eyes – which normally would worry him, but there was an honest-to-God _blush_ on Dean's cheeks now, and this couldn't possibly be anything harmful, right?

"It's not my fault," Dean continued with a bit more vehemence, "They were all wrong! They were writing about us – about me, and you, and Cas – but they were all wrong. I tried to tell them, but they wouldn't listen, and it was starting to piss me off, so I thought 'hey, why the hell not!' and I tried to fix it, but now I'm 5.000 words in, and I don't know how to continue, and...and..."

Sam blinked, his eyes unconsciously flicking to the laptop resting on the table next to Dean. It was open, turned away from him, and from where he was sitting he couldn't see exactly what his brother had been doing on it, but he really didn't need to at this point.

"Dean, are you telling me you're writing stuff about us?"

The blush intensified.

Sam would have teased his brother for it, but he wasn't that much of a dick – not if it meant that Dean had finally found a healthy way to deal with his feelings, and past, and everything that ever happened to them since the day their mother died.

"Want me to beta-read it for you?" he asked, turning his attention back on Dean's face to find the other was finally looking at him.

"W-what? What's that?"

"Editing, Dean. You're going to put that online, right? I might as well make sure you don't get harassed for making basic grammar mistakes," Sam grinned when Dean scowled and threw a piece of crust at him.

"Fine, bitch, do your nerdy thing," the older brother grunted, sliding the laptop back in his direction, and waved for the waitress to refill their coffee.

"You're the one who needs my expertises, jerk," Sam replied, grin still wide on his mouth, and got to work.

  
******

  
"Dean, is this Destiel fanfiction you're writing?"

"Shut your mouth!"


End file.
